Shouting into the Void

When it feels futile, connect with what is real.

From a young age, I sensed things….I wanted to help.

From a very young age, I had an experience of shouting into the void. I could see the ways my father was suffering, a kind but wounded, self-destructive 1950s Midwestern Jewish man, who seemed hellbent on numbing with alcohol and gambling the family resources in the stock market. I could see the ways my mother, also a kind and well-intentioned woman with her own trauma, rigidly fixated on her role as the idealized 1950s wife, subservient to the male—while burying her skills for helping others, living within our means, and artist talents.

I could see adults who were wounded, and I could see another way.

By age 15 I was in therapy, having found a nonprofit in Mountain View with a sliding scale of $5 a session. I got myself there on a second-hand scooter. I was resourceful: by age 16, I managed to get us all to see a family therapist. I recall sitting in the room, with my mom smiling pleasantly, while I cried about what I was witnessing in the family dynamics. It was clear: there was no getting through. They simply were not open. They could not be.

This experience of shouting into a void or a wind tunnel is in my nervous system. I know what it’s like to see things that others seem not to, or don’t want to.

I know the pain of this, and how disorienting it can be.

I suspect that many of us are feeling this way, and perhaps have for a long time.

---

I’ve been a bit quiet for the past four weeks. In the din of intense sensemaking, I have wanted to hold back a bit, not to add into the noise. So many of us are wanting to make sense, to find a sense of coherence. We are narrative seeking beings, after all.

So I did not feel like replicating the experience of shouting into a void.

To say what I feel I have been saying for a very long time:

We need to pay attention to fostering the conditions that cultivate our capacities for repair. We know a lot about what these conditions are. They have to do with helping people feel safe, heard, loved, and valued.

I have been genuinely perplexed as to why those working on behalf of making the world better—whether that be climate change, energy transition, ecological restoration, biodiversity protection, equity and worker rights, food system change, and so on—are not more opportunistic when it comes to enabling systemic, deep change. Why are we not leveraging what is already known, whether drawn from ancient human wisdom practices or innovative neuroscience or social neurobiology or non-violent community or or or….. in service of protection and healing.

On some level, it has not computed. In previous pieces, I have shared how after WWII, we saw a proliferation of creative work and thought about fascism, about what happens when humans are buffeted by the winds of change, fearing survival and clinging to whatever scaffolds a modicum of security or meaning. There was a rich field of research and practice, notably people such as Volan Volkan, Robert Jay Lifton, Erik Erikson, Hanna Segal, Viktor Frankl, who looked at history though this psychological and psychosocial lens.

Where they shouting into the void, too?

---

I am deeply humanistic, and I suppose, optimistic in some fundamental ways. That is to say, I believe in the capacity of humans and the human spirit. I believe in growth and renewal, of repair and mending. Of Tikkun Olam. This is what I live by, what informs my practice working with the brave practitioners and leaders in the environmental, climate and sustainability spaces. I see what people who care and concerned are capable of. I don’t need to read another research paper about resilience and how people can come together in times of crisis and upheaval, devastation and disruption. Many of us by now have been touched in some way or another by the ravages of volatile times, whether that be fire, flood, tremors and bombing; or the more inchoate disassembly of the normative and familiar, such as entire industries shuttering due to a pandemic, and the transformation of how we work in the span of only a number of months. We know what we are capable of.

Shell Beach in Inverness, the estuary where I can tune into my desire to help and love.

My instinct at this moment, is to refrain from shouting. As much as everything in my being wants to scream about what I see unfolding (and I may in my own home privately), I am continuing to find a path forward that seeks instead, a focus on renewal and repair. I suppose I have learned over the years, and with the earliest experience of trying to get others to pay attention, that it does not help to yell, tell or sell.

So for those of you reading this, and perhaps finding some solace or comfort in reading these words, this is what I can offer you for now. This is what is on my mind, that I wish I could express as clearly and loudly as I can. This is what share with any climate, environmental or sustainability leader, manager, practitioner or concerned person at this time, when given the opportunity.

1. We need to focus right now on cultivating the conditions, that can support human beings to face into hard truths.

What I mean by this, is it is now high time to attend to the how. How we gather. How we convene. How we foster trust. How we communicate and connect with our people (from millions of customers, teams, communities, to shareholders.) How we metabolize and confront super hard realities. How we can sense-make in a way that is safe, respectful and honoring. How we can learn the skills each changemaker needs now: to show up as a guide.

2. We need to actively partner with those who have skills, experience, expertise and care for process.

If we are going to talk about big existential threats, we have to know how to support people in managing and navigating this. Most of my work is supporting people inside organizations to do this skillfully. I am stunned at how many people are tasked with navigating massive change initiatives, bringing stakeholders together, hosting councils and boards—with virtually no training or support in how to facilitate and handle hard facts, truths and realities about systems change.

3. We must attend to the psychology of what happens for humans when confronting our transgressions, complicity and contribution to harm.

Let me be blunt: anyone working on climate change, waste, circularity, energy transition, biodiversity is actually drawing attention to what we have gotten wrong. I don’t care how positive, sunny, cheerleading or solutions oriented you are. Working on these issues is implicitly pointing out what we have royally messed up. Please, attend to the psychology of this. People avoid this hard stuff. There are conditions and practices that help us. Much of it resolves around creating containers and spaces. And yes, even at senior leadership meetings, and board retreats. See #1 above. Get skilled, invest in programs, learn, train and skill UP NOW. Get your psychological literacy going on. There are resources, and lots of people who would love to get on the changemaking train who don’t know how. Help them. Help us.

4. We need to be both fierce and courageous—and humble as fuck.

Humility is the essential ingredient for growth. Humility enables curiosity. Which enables wonder. Which enables growth. As I like to quote colleague Amy Edmondson: “It’s hard to learn if you already know.” However. Let’s look at the psychology of uncertainty and high stakes for a second: many of us retreat into what we know, and scaffolding with arrogance (yes, white men, I am looking right at you), when we feel the vulnerability of not-knowing. So it’s not enough to push a tagline. We need to appreciate and hold each other accountable: that we can be both fierce and rooted in our authentic truth, while also being humble AF and asking for help, guidance and admitting we don’t know. And yes, please do bring this humility, conveners and curators. We need you now, and we need you to please be open to learning and growing. (See Exhibit A: Notes on Impact Convenings. Oy voy please innovate these! For the love of God! We are here to help!)

5. We need to anchor in love.

I am aware of the tsunami of Love Messaging that has been raining upon us for the past few weeks. As millions of people sense-make and try to orient to our current and emerging realities on every level possible—spiritually, financially, economically, culturally, physically, logistically, emotionally, mentally, intellectually, somatically—we are seeing some pretty significant jockeying for spiritual anchoring. So I am going to addd one more input into the insanely noisy public square, by offering yet another invitation to anchor in love. It is love, as we know, that fuels our anger and rage. It is love that energizes our creativity and fire. It is love that leads us into deep dark shadowlands of melancholia, depression and despair. It is our love that anchors us to this world, to the currents of life and the web of which we are irreducibly woven into.

On this note, I leave you for now with an invitation for kindness and care, for tending and repair.

If you feel you are shouting into a void, into the wind tunnel, you are not alone. I am here with you, shouting and wanting to be seen and heard.

And at the end of the day, I know that in fact I am never alone, and neither are you.

With care,

Renée

Noteworthy items

I joined the Climate and Happiness podcast a few weeks ago, in the wake of the LA fires, it’s a great conversation with Gail Sinatra, who had just lost her home—someone who studies climate denial—along with Thomas and Panu. Worth checking out.

My dear friend and colleague Sarah Peyton is offering her amazing Summit “Repairing the Roots” soon—this is what I mean by getting oriented and skilled. If you are a non-clinician, start learning about trauma-informed work. We need this now at scale. More info also here.

Britt Wray recently resurfaced this previous edition of Generation Dread featuring an interview… about navigating tough interactions about climate. You can find it here.

A Personal Note

Some of you know I temporarily moved myself (uprooted from CA) to Portland in late 2023 to help take care of and oversee my mom’s care after her stroke. She’s a beautiful woman with dementia and on a pension. I found a place for her, but it’s a nursing home: doesn’t have the care, connection and attention to dementia as she needs. I have been covering costs for a day program that serves as a memory care. I am raising funds to help cover these costs. Please do donate if you feel called. The monthly costs are around 2K for her care. I am aiming for raising 20K to help bring ease, as I focus on my client work (supporting climate and sustainability people as guides), and my book.

I will return with substantial pieces full of practical advice soon—for now, I am here along with you, sensemaking and seeking renewal. If you find this work valuable, consider subscribing. Thank you.