Yes, "Righting" is the ground of training for coaching. When done well, asking the right questions allows the client to find the "light bulb moment" on their own. The answers are always available. A little guidance leads the way. The client will almost always say, "Wow, I can't believe the answer was there the entire time." It's a gratifying experience to be part of this transition. Thank you for the hard work.
I loved reading this Renee! It felt a lot like the lightbulb moment I had when I realised that you could use professional coaching skills to galvanise people into climate action (we don't call it motivational interviewing but a lot of it is exactly the same). I really appreciate your explanation of why people 'right'. We're not running around trying to be know-it-alls, we just feel the urgency so viscerally that we don't think we have the time for anything else. So often we have to demo coaching skills for people to believe that they're FASTER than righting. I'd love to know why we have this belief that good listening is slow and laborious. Is this baked into how we learn in school somehow, or part of the rush-rush-rush of modern life, I wonder? The most wonderful thing about the approach you're advocating is that it feels like performing a magic trick, for you and the other person. I love that!
This was a lesson I learned as I became a special needs caregiver to my grandsons. I learned how to listen to empathize, validate, and give them space to express themselves and guide them to solutions to their problems. I then translated that into my life coaching as a stress management coach for parents and caregivers. Nothing feels better than being heard, listened to and empathized with versus the opposite!
Yes this resonates a lot Renee - not just with my experience in the climate space but in the aid space more broadly and in my own struggles. It contrasts with so much of how we are taught and really is a new skill to learn within our systems. I enjoyed reading your experience 🙂
Thank you so much for this powerfully inspiring account of your experiences at an AI workshop, Renee! I've only read about MI, not formally trained in it.... however, helping a person feel heard and seen in a way that evokes their own desire for change, is something I learned while training in Eugene Gendlin's Focusing work. SO glad that you were in that room with all of those clinicians!!!! We are in such need of these approaches, in the social change arena...
The message is clear, inspiring, and consistent with training i am getting in academia for qualitative interviewing. Ironically, but not fatally, it is an act of "righting". But how would you do "guiding" in a blog post? Big smile, and thanks.
great question, let me practice in the next one! You know I am trained in qual research interviewing. Check out my book - contact me direct for a PDF (Routledge is very expensive, or get it from your library).
Yes, "Righting" is the ground of training for coaching. When done well, asking the right questions allows the client to find the "light bulb moment" on their own. The answers are always available. A little guidance leads the way. The client will almost always say, "Wow, I can't believe the answer was there the entire time." It's a gratifying experience to be part of this transition. Thank you for the hard work.
Yes, exactly!
I loved reading this Renee! It felt a lot like the lightbulb moment I had when I realised that you could use professional coaching skills to galvanise people into climate action (we don't call it motivational interviewing but a lot of it is exactly the same). I really appreciate your explanation of why people 'right'. We're not running around trying to be know-it-alls, we just feel the urgency so viscerally that we don't think we have the time for anything else. So often we have to demo coaching skills for people to believe that they're FASTER than righting. I'd love to know why we have this belief that good listening is slow and laborious. Is this baked into how we learn in school somehow, or part of the rush-rush-rush of modern life, I wonder? The most wonderful thing about the approach you're advocating is that it feels like performing a magic trick, for you and the other person. I love that!
Wow thank you!!
This was a lesson I learned as I became a special needs caregiver to my grandsons. I learned how to listen to empathize, validate, and give them space to express themselves and guide them to solutions to their problems. I then translated that into my life coaching as a stress management coach for parents and caregivers. Nothing feels better than being heard, listened to and empathized with versus the opposite!
Yes, for sure. imagine if this was adapted by everyone working on behalf of our planet. We'd see massive shifts. It's simple yet not easy.
So true! I'm seeing this shift happening for awhile now but it's very small. It's still progress though!
I love this Renée: “Based on what you know and feel, what do you think you can do?”
Very likely going to include it in the book I'm writing (called "Your Guide to Climate Action")!
If I'm understanding it correctly, I should quote you for this question, not Steve, right?
Thank you! Yes you can quote me. :)
Thank you!!
Yes this resonates a lot Renee - not just with my experience in the climate space but in the aid space more broadly and in my own struggles. It contrasts with so much of how we are taught and really is a new skill to learn within our systems. I enjoyed reading your experience 🙂
Thank you so much for this powerfully inspiring account of your experiences at an AI workshop, Renee! I've only read about MI, not formally trained in it.... however, helping a person feel heard and seen in a way that evokes their own desire for change, is something I learned while training in Eugene Gendlin's Focusing work. SO glad that you were in that room with all of those clinicians!!!! We are in such need of these approaches, in the social change arena...
Really love this perspective. Thank you so much for sharing!
The message is clear, inspiring, and consistent with training i am getting in academia for qualitative interviewing. Ironically, but not fatally, it is an act of "righting". But how would you do "guiding" in a blog post? Big smile, and thanks.
great question, let me practice in the next one! You know I am trained in qual research interviewing. Check out my book - contact me direct for a PDF (Routledge is very expensive, or get it from your library).
This is a thoughtful piece-- thanks!
Thank you! :)