Why We Need To Shift From Righting To Guiding

A fundamentally different approach to changing the world.

In 2017, I found myself sitting in a large airy room at Fort Mason, San Francisco, the former military compound-turned-arts and culture space. There were about sixty of us there, sitting at small tables, with our worksheets and notebooks. 

People had come from around the country to learn about how to help people change.

Confusion is to be expected. Source: PIO

This was a training in the public health methodology of Motivational Interviewing – a counseling style of “guiding” people through change – led by global MI trainer, Steve Malcolm-Berg Smith. Steve had arrived at the training with all kinds of props—costumes, hats, costume jewelry, bells, drums, musical instruments. I managed to suppress my inner eye-roll.

I was here for a serious training. What was this guy doing with all these goofy toys? 

I was soon to find out. As Steve led us through the exercises, talks and practices over the coming three days, everything I thought I knew about how to approach my work in climate change, environmental advocacy and existential crises was turned upside-down.

Using his instruments, he would playfully remind us of how hard it is to listen, especially when we want people to change. Using bells, drums and other tools, he helped ‘pattern interrupt’ the overwhelming tendency to tell people what to do.

As Steve guided us, for those of us trying to help others, whether with health, addiction, relationships, etc—we often come across as “Righters.”

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Righting vs. Guiding

Yep, righting. This is when we focus on telling people, earnestly, what the problems are, and why it’s the “right” thing to do to change. It is also called the “righting reflex,” one of the most singularly game-changing insights from MI. This well-intended yet often ineffective tendency only brings up resistance, as a natural response to being “told.” 

It was when we did Steve’s activity, A Taste of MI,  that this truly landed for me, viscerally.

A Taste of MI

We were instructed to role-play with someone who was grappling with a seemingly intractable problem.  It could be about diet, exercise, or a difficult situation with a family member. We played the part of the helper, continuing to tell the person what would happen if they didn’t take action, all the reasons why they needed to, and how high the stakes are.

I watched before my eyes as this person became increasingly agitated, withdrawn and sad.

I thought about all of us who work on climate, environment and sustainability, often educating, telling and selling—and my heart dropped. It seemed that pointing out the problems and so-called solutions only led to shut-down. The opposite response we want. 

There’s a different way to approach. Source: PIO

Then Steve had us switch, and take a very different stance.

We were to “evoke” from the person their feelings, thoughts and beliefs about the specific issue or focus of change. Eventually our role was to evoke what MI calls, Change Talk. That’s when we give voice to our desire to change the situation, and possible steps.

My job was to pose the right kind of questions, that enable the person to feel heard, seen, and eventually, access their own desire for change.

In a matter of minutes, I witnessed a total transformation.

While being listened to, my partner became animated and emotionally connected with the topic. We left the conversation after a few minutes on a note of possibility, action and forward-motion. This was largely due to my asking the question, “Based on what you know and feel, what do you think you can do?”

Then I’d close, per Steve’s instructions: “I am confident that you will be successful!” 

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What does this mean for us?

I imagined doing this in one of the sticky and complex interactions many of us find ourselves in when it comes to sustainability, climate, energy, waste, water, and so on. Whether it’s with a manager, board members, colleagues, family, partners, friends—so often we default to educating, righting, cheerleading or preaching. So rarely do we pause to listen and evoke.

And there’s a good reason: it’s hard!

I looked around the room. The participants were doctors, social workers, therapists, nurses, counselors, and health practitioners. I was the only non-clinician there. I couldn’t quite believe it: It seemed everything we were learning in that training about Guiding change, was so relevant for those working on behalf of our planet’s crises, from biodiversity and water, to soil health and carbon emissions. 

Here we are, working to create change, to “make” people change, because we care and love our planet, and the web of life.

We feel the urgency and high stakes. Our love, anger, and fierce protection was motivating our actions. Many of us are also feeling stymied, frustrated and increasingly burnt out. And it seemed, we were for the most part, going about it all wrong. 

Steve was the consummate Guide: he was careful to create a space of safety and compassion.

Here we were, many of us highly trained “experts” who were learning our approach of righting was, well, kind of wrong.

He helped create the conditions that enabled us to critique our usual approaches to change, though, without ever judging ourselves. That allowed us to actually lean into the discomfort and learn. 

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Upon leaving the training…

I grappled with complicated feelings about what this all meant for the environmental and climate work I had been a part of for thirty years.

I simply could not understand why more of us were not seizing on evidence-based research when it comes to helping people shift what seem to be intractable problems.

Why were we so fixated on educating and raising awareness, when the research had already established people need to be “guided” to complex change?

Admittedly, I felt frustrated that so many of us were going around “righting” at one another. Doesn’t our planet depend on us figuring this out, and fast? And there were tools to do this. 

I was reminded of what my colleague and friend Amy Edmondson says: “It’s hard to learn, if you already know.” 

I left the training with a new perspective on what it means to address our planet’s most intractable problems. What I did know for sure, is that the “righting reflex” was not doing us any favors. I decided I’d make it my mission to translate these tools for changemakers around the world. 

Try out some Guiding. In the midst of horrific climate events, see if you are able to open up and initiate conversations that start with listening. Open your heart. Ask questions and listen. 

x Renée

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How did these tips land for you?
Did you learn something new?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

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Recent Articles, Features, And Upcoming Events

• Vulnerability, self reflection, and compassion - are you brave enough to be a sustainability leader?, ING

• A Changing Planet Seminar: Psychological Dimensions of Sustainability, 10/18 at 7am PT | Imperial College - Grantham Institute | RSVP

• The Psychology of Care, Learning How to Lead in the Anthropocene, 11/12 at 11am PT | University of Calgary | RSVP

• Energy Wise Network Keynote

Resources:

• My last Substack, A New Psychology For Existentially Complex Times

• Check out the resources on ProjectInsideOut.net. This is a website created by support from the KR Foundation, that pulls together some tools when it comes to incorporating Guiding into our change work. Start by taking the Changemaker Quiz. You’ll see the Righter there. What kind of changemaker are you? 

• The Secret To Talking About Climate Change. This cool video was created by the Alliance for Climate Education, based on the “Climate Psych Labs” I designed and delivered to ACE Fellows around the United States. All of the content derives from Motivational Interviewing. (Thanks, Steve!) It was part of a research project, The Power of Conversation, funded by the Skoll Global Threats Fund to test the approach for high school students.

• Steve on Ambivalence. Check out Steve’s awesome video introducing the concept of Ambivalence for the Project InsideOut Summit in 2020.

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